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A group of model rocket enthusiasts gathered at a field for their weekly launch event. Among them was Dave, a seasoned builder known for pushing the limits of hobby rocketry. This time, he had outdone himself.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Dave announced, dramatically pulling a cloth off his latest creation, “I present to you: The Kraken!”
The crowd gasped. This wasn’t just a model rocket—it was a monster. The thing stood 8 feet tall, had six clustered engines, and was covered in enough duct tape to qualify as a classified aerospace project.
“Dave,” muttered Steve, the cautious safety officer, “Have you, uh… done the math on this?”
“Math?” Dave scoffed. “I built it in my garage at 3 a.m. with parts from eBay. This is an art piece, Steve.”
The countdown began.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
The engines ignited with a BOOM, and The Kraken shot up… kind of. It immediately did a violent barrel roll, narrowly missing the spectators before skyrocketing at an angle that could only be described as “legally questionable.”
The crowd collectively ducked as The Kraken flew straight over the adjacent cornfield, where Old Man Jenkins, the grumpiest farmer in town, was minding his business.
KABOOM!
The rocket disappeared behind the barn. A moment later, a flaming piece of Estes igniter wire landed at Steve’s feet. The silence was deafening.
And then—an unmistakable sound echoed across the field.
Jenkins’ shotgun being cocked.
“DAVE!!!” Steve shouted. “RUN.”
And that was the day Dave invented the first-ever biologically powered rocket booster: pure adrenaline.
To this day, nobody knows where The Kraken landed, but legend has it, it still haunts the skies, terrifying unsuspecting drones and low-flying birds.